the pitiful barren woman

one thing you may not know about me, but probably should if you decide to continue this friendship, is that i'm nothing if not defiant. i like making my own rules only because i'm expected to follow those already established; i like trying a new thing only because someone says i can't; and i like making my life my very own rather than following The Plan that most everyone else finds so very necessary for happiness and well-being.

i briefly touched on this subject a year or so ago, but i just feel like i want to get this off of my chest. the one thing that continues to come up over and over is babies. for a while i'll just brush the comments off, let them go in one ear and out the other, and tell myself that the person making them obviously has nothing better to do with his or her time than concern themselves with my reproductive system and 10-year plan. but there are other times when i get to the point that i've heard enough. more than enough, really. while i'm not saying there's anything wrong with having babies (although, truly, it wouldn't hurt to slow down seeing as how the planet is sort of running out of space), i'm saying that it's a personal choice, and right now it's not one that works for me.

in the last few years, i've gotten everything from, "you're not getting any younger" to, "what kind of a person doesn't like babies?" to, "what, is there something wrong with you, are you not able to have kids?" to, "you're just selfish for not wanting a baby." sometimes the comments briefly annoy me, and other times, like the ones when i've been called selfish, the comments really hurt my feelings. i don't question people's choices regarding life-changing decisions, nor do i cast judgment when an opinion differs from my own, but it's become too commonplace for people, be it family or almost strangers, to have, and too often give, opinions and advice regarding that aspect of my life when i've NEVER asked for any input.

obviously The Plan dictates that within the first few years of marriage a man and woman should have a baby. wait another two to five years and The Plan says you need another. while this equation works for many, it doesn't for me. chris and i still have things we want to do, places we want to go, before adding a crying, drooling, expensive baby to the mix, and last time i checked, at 29 and 33, we're not too old to wait a little longer.

i've tried explaining my reasons for not jumping on the baby bandwagon, but to no avail. not only have my explanations led to blank stares, rolled eyes, and rebuttal, but i've even had to endure comments to the effect of (when referencing a family member or friend that has a child), "see, that could be you; just think of how much fun it would be." it may just be that i'm on the baby offensive, but to me, the implication in such comments is that my life isn't actually complete or happy without a child, or that as a childless woman of 29 (which, as i've come to understand, is akin to a bearded lady - a freak of nature) i really don't have anything left to offer until i procreate.

i'm already preparing myself for an onslaught of infant-related comments at christmas regarding my steadfast opposition to a baby right now, seeing as how i'm the oldest (and of course childless), my cousin ali recently had a baby, and my cousin elizabeth is pregnant. but i'll just eat another piece of cranberry pie and pretend to be oblivious to the baby talk all while reminding myself that i have two of the most beautiful babies already, and the fact that they're not human is completely inconsequential - they love me and i love them, and that's all that matters to me.

so i guess what i'm really trying to say is, if you're at that stage in life where you think a baby just fits and you're ready to make that decision, then i completely respect that, but for those of us who aren't at that stage, and may never be, respect that, too. please.

a GLITTER diy!

i don't know about you, but i love some sparkle - especially in the form of glitter (and a sequin skirt, but i still don't have one of those). i've been on a bit of a mission to find clear nail polish with BIG pieces of gold glitter, but i've come up empty-handed. i'm sure it's sold somewhere around here, but with all the busyness that comes with this time of year, i've not been able to look everywhere in this city that sells nail polish, so i figured i'd just save some time and make my own.

what you'll need: clear nail polish (be sure you get some that's thick as i learned on my first attempt that the glitter will NOT stay even remotely suspended in the thin, watery polish), glitter. i found this tube of big gold glitter at michael's for $0.99.

i forgot to take a picture of this, but to get the glitter in the bottle of nail polish without a beautiful gold mess, i folded a small piece of paper in half, poured some glitter into it, and then dumped the glitter into the bottle from the fold of the paper. mix it up, shake it around, dance for a minute, then go paint your nails!

i'm going to go ahead and tell you that, like my underwear, i do not spend a lot of money on cosmetics. i'm cheap. i bought the N.Y.C. brand polish for less than $2, and although i haven't been wearing it long, i think it works fine for this project.

also, i have to tell you that painting my nails is sort of like a celebration of accomplishment for me! i've been so incredibly busy making jewelry to have orders filled, shipped, and delivered by christmas that i had a breakdown and cried like a baby because i felt so overwhelmed that i haven't been able to do anything that, yes, is unimportant, but fun to me. since i've finally finished the christmas orders so i know my hands will have a break for a little while, i decided there was no better time to paint my nails, because with a slow down in business, the polish would actually last more than a few hours!

we've got spirit, how about you?

shortly before thanksgiving, my cousins emily and elizabeth, my aunt cindy, and i all talked about and decided on a family tacky sweater party for christmas eve. i've been counting down the days to making a sufficient fool of myself, and my sister and i planned a sweater decorating day for saturday. i don't want to unveil our secret gems to family before christmas eve, but since my sister is the only one in my family who looks at my blog or even remembers the name, i figured this was a safe place to share what's got us so excited! let me apologize in advance for the pictures; i fear i'm getting old, because as you can see, if auto focus is not at my disposal, what looks sharp through the lens ends up looking more like your vision when you've gotten too little sleep and haven't yet wiped all the slime from your eyes.

i tried to keep my big bear out of all the glittered mess, but he insisted, so he ended up with glitter on his nose and head, but he didn't mind. my sweater really isn't all that bad (except i hate the color red), but i knew i could decorate it to make it ugly. and do i spy a pair of pendleton wool pants? yes i do. they're not so big that they fall down, but are big enough to give me about an extra 15 pounds in the thighs as well as what appears to be a little joey in his marsupial pouch.

i can't wait to see what everyone else found or made for the explosion of tackiness, and i'll be sure to take pictures WITH AUTO FOCUS because i have a feeling i'll be laughing at us for a long time.

how has your weekend been? what are your plans for christmas?

beca dressed me today: an outfit post

today i wore a christmas present from one of my very favorite people in life. she says i was supposed to wait and until christmas to wear it, so let's just look at it, then forget we saw it, and we can pretend like i haven't worn it yet and then i'll wear it again.

coat: forever 21, scarf: i don't remember, dress: gift from beca via vacation vintage, tights: target, boots: target, giggle juice: c/o chris, vintage brooches: gift & my granny maude's, earrings: dinosaur toes

i also should have mentioned that the hair, uhhh, style (?) is courtesy of the wind. it's whipping around worse out there than when my mom used to get the spatula out after my brother and i (rim shot). i went to the dreaded mall today to get a few last chritmas presents, and when i came out someone from the salvation army was by the door ringing the bell, so i pulled out a few dollars to give, and as i was putting it in the bucket she said, "i love your outfit!" it may have been a compliment in response to my giving money, but i'm just going to think that it was because of THIS AWESOME DRESS! i was so surprised when it came in the mail i squealed like a little girl!

have you gotten any early christmas presents yet? if so, what?

field work: an outfit post

i always seem to like outfits that are mostly soft and feminine, but with a few rugged or even masculine details (because that means it's more wearable to me since i like to have some element of casual or comfortable). this was so comfortable, and i think once it's again warm enough to feel like i can go without tights, this will be a go to outfit!

field jacket: thrifted, dress: target, boots: target

i have to tell you, when i do these posts, i still feel kind of funny sharing multiple pictures of myself because how do i know you're not thinking i look ridiculous? it's my lack of confidence though, because when i look at other blogs with outfit posts (which i LOVE doing for all the great inspiration out there), i never think anything bad, instead, "look at those poses, she looks like a professional!" or, "if i lived near her i'd accidentally on purpose sneak into her closet and take that outfit" ... unless that's weird, then just forget i said it. BUT, regardless of my awkwardness, i still really enjoy posting outfits because it's such good motivation for me to NOT get too comfortable in a "uniform."