i don't like talking about my feelings. the end. like a therapist's worst nightmare, i'd much rather just have a quiet little pity party by myself and then get over it. but there's one thing that just keeps nagging me ooover and ooovvver, and it's kind of annoying. the thing is: friends.
do i have friends? yes. do i have (local) friends that don't have kids and are willing to go see a band, or stay out late, or talk about potty subjects like cal and i do without thinking it's dumb and immature? no. i know that each friend brings something different and fulfills a different need that we have, but my problem is that i'm seriously lacking a certain type of fun in my friendships. don't get me wrong, i think kids are great, and some of my friends have awesome kids that i love playing with, but when it comes right down to it, if there's something good going on that would keep us out late, or even until the early hours of the morning, a mom friend doesn't want to go. trust me, i don't want to be a sloppy party girl like paris hilton, but hey, every now and again, it would be fun to have a crazy night, right? so the problem is, at 29 it's difficult to find friends that aren't parents, and not only that, but i don't work with peers, and i'm kind of shy until i get to know someone, so how in the world is a girl supposed to find and make these much-needed new friends? i mean, i can't walk up to someone and say, "hey, i noticed we dress similarly and you have a sticker on your car for a band i like, wanna hang out?" i mean, if i wanted to seem like a stalker, success! but i don't.
do you know what i'm talking about? i know i'm not the only one because i've had this sort of conversation with a few other people before who seem to have the same problem, but seriously, i feel like i'm just sitting still spinning my wheels. it's annoying, and sometimes it just puts me in a funk. so there, those are my feelings. if you read it all, just imagine i'm giving you a giant bear hug right now.
i really intended to show you the stones i got on saturday, but i got home a little late, and of course i had to run, because if i tell myself i'll do it later, the fact of the matter is, i won't! so i can't put off running if i'm in the mood to do it. oh, and speaking of which, i did track for years in school, and the two main things that helped my endurance were keeping my body loose, and taking LONG strides. so you'd think i'd just always do that when i'm running, right? no. this week i've made myself lengthen my strides, and you can't imagine how much better it feels! it's like i'm just not getting that tired, and i can just keep going and going! it's amazing! so much for smoking crack, i'm pretty addicted to this new found endurance. oh, and i didn't share the pretty stones that brittan sent me for my birthday yet, so that's where the picture came from. i hate doing a blog post without a picture.