farewell jacket and sanity: an outfit post with feeling

i had decided that i wasn't going to blog today, or any more this week, but it does sort of provide temporary relief from real life sometimes, so here i am. i love spring and warm weather, but i always hate to hang my jackets up until the fall because they're so cozy (and they let you be lazy with getting dressed because you can button them up and hide what's underneath). so this is the last time i'll wear a jacket until october or november...

jacket: thrifted, shirt: banana republic, skirt: thrifted, shoes: old navy

i don't like this skirt. i've only worn it a few times, and each time i do i say it's going to be the last. this time is the last. i'm pretty sure. maybe. other than that, well, there's not much to say about this outfit.

so, when you have a million different feelings and you're feeling completely overwhelmed, and all you want to do is vent, is there a better place to share than on your blog? no. so here it is. i know i've mentioned a few times that i'm kind of drowning in orders and trying my best to keep up. i think i'm falling a little further behind each day, and on top of that, with so many more orders than usual, of course it's more likely there will be problems to deal with. from a customer problems, to post office problems, to me sending a package to the wrong address because i can't seem to keep everything straight, it's all starting to get to me. i've never been even remotely capable of handling stress, and when there are multiple issues going on at once, all i want to do is throw my hands up and say "I QUIT!" but then i have to remember that although running your own business can be very trying at times, i'd never be happy working a "real" job. i know all of this will work itself out, and eventually i will get caught up, but sometimes it's difficult to see an end in sight when you're feeling buried under the stress. maybe i should put chris in charge of customer service because he's a hell of a lot better dealing with things than i am.

this probably sounds silly, but i swear it's making me crazy. i've been small all of my life, and although it's never been as easy for me to find clothes as it has been for most everyone else i know, it's now at a whole new level of ridiculousness. since november i've been running more than i have in years, and obviously running burns fat. last night when i was trying to figure out what i'd wear to work today and tomorrow i got so frustrated and had a pity party because i didn't know what else to do. i'm finding that more and more of my clothes are too big for me. things i love and have worn for years now hang on me like a sack. if i had been bigger to begin with, i'd be happy about it, but because i was already in a size 1 or extra small, i'm so frustrated i could scream! i already buy the smallest size clothing i can find, and now that that's too big i don't know what to do, but one thing is certain: i will not shop in the girls' section - i'm almost 30 years old! even typing this out sounds ridiculous, but i hate the thought of having to get dressed because i know that nothing fits right anymore.

so i'm going to have another pity party, and then i'll get to work on orders and hope i can reach my goal for the day. sorry to be a debbie downer. how has your day been?

28 comments:

  1. oh sweetie! sometimes the best thing is to ask for help. ask chris to answer customer service questions to help you so you can deal with the production side of things. it is the little things that can drive us nuts but you have to remember to breath, you are living a dream most people myself included would love to have and ask someone to hold your hand and help. you will get through it. just take a break from it for a little while and all will be well. i know it.

    as for the clothes, i remember i lost a bit of weight and i am the kind of person who likes her clothes to be more fitted so baggy clothes are not my friend, i was upset seeing my cute clothes not fit me anymore. take things in, find a cheap seamstress and have her take some things in. but this is also a very nice excuse to go shopping!

    i hope your day gets better sweetie and that jumping on your trampoline will help smooth it over a bit. just rememember your amazing, beautiful and truly talented and there is nothing you can't conquer!
    xo,
    cb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cb, i can't even tell you how much i appreciate your sweet comment :) it's friends like you that can help to put things into perspective and make it seem a little better!

      Delete
  2. I'm the same way. Especially when things are moving out of the realm of my every day routine. I find it good to have a big cry (done), a talk with the hubby to help (hopefully done), and then I'll tell myself that I can only do one thing at a time and I'll prioritize. What's the most important thing to do right this moment? That helps keep me from getting overwhelmed (again).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh yeah, when my routine is messed up i go into psycho mode! talks with a hubby always help too, and luckily chris is a pretty good (and level-headed, unlike me) listener. thank, kristen :)

      Delete
  3. I hear ya loud and clear. I'm usually in tears two weeks before a big event, feeling totally helpless, as if the world will end any second and it will be all my fault. My husband pointed out the other day that I have a problem asking for help when I need it most. I love being independent until I have to prove how independent I really am. I hope things do get much, much better for you (even with the clothes situation!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you know, i probably wouldn't have thought of that, but reading your comment was sort of like that light bulb going off because that is EXACTLY how i am! thanks, kae!

      Delete
  4. I think that skirt is actually pretty adorable! Your jacket too... I need to find more jackets.
    I've only had one order that I had to deal with the customer on afterwards and it was incredibly stressful. I'm sure having more than one is pretty trying. You make a lot of people really happy with your designs though! They are all so beautiful:)
    Maybe you just need a vacation!
    //Leah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for the sweet comment, leah, i really appreciate it :)

      Delete
  5. i love the skirt! it's funny how some of the pieces we dislike are the more popular pieces when it comes to our friends' opinions. and you are just always so darling. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pity party away my friend! Want a venting Skype date?!

    Does this make you feel better? I've been watching you try to find new clothes at all the stores and get frustrated. I like watching you get frustrated, but I like you being happy in your room better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it makes me feel a lot better. now i know that although i may be in the store by myself i'm not actually alone, because you're outside watching me (and hopefully planning to text me if something i pick out is all wrong).

      Delete
  7. I was going to comment that I love that skirt before I read that you don't, haha. I think it's super sweet. And oh my goodness, I hear you on the clothes situation. I don't usually have HUGE trouble finding things that fit (a lot of dresses are too big on top, and pants often gap at the waist, but generally things fit ok). But, people already always comment on how skinny I am (just built that way) and now I've lost weight I guess from when the RA came on and haven't put it back even though I'm eating... it's really frustrating, all of my pants are too loose and it's really starting to get to me, but I don't want to buy new clothes, I just want a bit of weight back! Grrr.
    Anyhow. I think the alterations suggestion is a good one! That really sucks, I'm sorry. I HATE trying to buy things that are hard to find with a good fit (I hate trying to find jeans or pants).
    And good luck with biz. It will work out [at least lots of orders is a nice problem to have :) ]. Deep breathes, snuggles with Flojo & Kona, jumping on the trampoline... diffuse some of that energy :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you know, it seems like i always get compliments when i wear it, but i just can't stand the thing! maybe i don't have very good taste! hahaha!

      i'm sorry to hear you have trouble with fit, too, but i understand what you're saying. in high school my nickname was baby gap (like the store) because i was so small, but people didn't realize i was built that way and i tried all i could to gain weight! i guess some would consider us lucky though ;)

      thank you, stina!

      Delete
  8. Pity parties rule! I just had not one, but TWO tonight! Oh man, and lemme tell you...they were real ragers! I'm talking kegger-style pity flowing everywhere! I'm the coolest ever, right? At least we can rest assured knowing neither one of us is alone and that this, too, shall pass (or something like that). Haha. Anywho, I think you're the coolest. Really. The end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. those are the best types of pity parties. oh, and the ones where you're all red and puffy-eyed after? awesome. ;) thanks for being funny!

      Delete
  9. I think its totally ok to feel like this and I love you for actually blogging about it and admitting real life shit happens, and its not all cake pops and moustaches. If it helps, you look totally cute as always and everything will be ok. At least you aren't sat at some desk job while your life and creative energy goes down a plug hole.

    Also I have some cute and totally tiny tshirts that don't fit me anymore that i want to send you if you are really miss tiny. Srsly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dianne, if i hear cake pop one more time and it isn't someone saying that's become as insane as cupcakes, mustaches and kittens, i might break something! awww, thanks for thinking of me with the shirts! i'm going to email you.

      Delete
    2. seriously what he hell even IS A CAKE POP? JUST EAT SOME CAKE!

      RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

      Delete
  10. haha i feel you - i'm small and im pretty sure clothes elfs buy out all the outfits i want at stores. and adorable outfit - love that skirt (and totally dig the shirt that you can never get rid of ha)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you must be right about those elves because there just aren't any small sizes to be found!

      Delete
  11. A little bit of blog venting goes a long way. It's absolutely natural to get overwhelmed in this way - I think everyone experiences it from time to time. I'm not far off experiencing it now! And even though it's hard to remember this when you're feeling swamped, all the orders are a result of the admiration people have for your creativity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you, rachel! as stressed as i was feeling (not quite as much today because one issue was resolved, and i've made some progress getting more orders ready), i had to keep reminding myself that i was really happy that people like what i made enough to continue placing orders, so all in all, i guess it's a good thing to be overwhelmed with!

      Delete
  12. Girl, I hear you!! I am the same... I am a size 0 (sometimes 1 when it comes to skinny jeans) and an extra small. I work at the gap and I tell everyone, its not as great as it seems. You know what is really hard to find I feel- Jackets- Specially trench coats! Why do they make those things so damn large! I am glad I have someone who understands.... Pity Party it up!

    Oh. Love this skirt by the way!!
    http://seventwentysomethings.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh gosh, i ALWAYS have people telling me it must be easy to find clothes since i wear a small size, or that i'm lucky because i'm this size, but i'm glad you understand that it is NOT easy! at all! yeah, i have a lot of trouble with jackets - a little in the length, but mostly in the shoulders (i guess i'm not football player enough to wear them)!

      Delete
  13. I hope you''re feeling a bit better today pickle! Big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Take a step back, a deep breath and think calm thoughts. Running your own business is always going to be difficult, your not the only person in that situation and its perfectly normal to be stressed out with everything your dealing with. If things go wrong just accept it and dont panic. If the weight is an issue, maybe stop running for a while so your body can re gain a few of those pounds, if your not happy being so small. I love that skirt by the way and the shoes are way cute!
    Hope you feel better soon!
    Daisy Dayz
    Cross-Jones-Photography Home

    ReplyDelete

I'd love to hear what you think!