i don't remember the last time i was so mad and upset all at once.

let me preface this by saying that if you follow me on twitter, i know you've already heard about it, and i do promise i'm not trying to stay hung up on this, but i'm still just so fuming mad i swear i could breathe fire if i tried.

i had planned today to show you pictures of the fun i had at my cousin emily's bachelorette party, but that won't can't happen. i'd also planned to eventually show you a before and after hair post i'd taken pictures of last week, but again, that can't happen. and as far as business goes, i have several new items i'd photographed and planned to list sometime this week, but once again, that. can't. happen.

after the girl's only half of the bachelorette party, the guys, girls, and other friends converged at a house empty and waiting for a fun night. there was a dj, there were drinks, and for my sister and i, there were dancing shoes! we had so much fun that i could have stayed until the sun came up had it not been for my heavy eyes. by about 2:30am, lauren (my sister), chris and i decided it was time to head home, just as soon as we gathered up the few things i had. the only problem was, my camera was missing. i knew exactly where i put it last, but hoping for the best, my cousin and i searched the house hoping against hope it had somehow been moved without my knowledge. it was nowhere to be found.

not only do i dislike talking about my feelings, i hate showing them if it means tears (unless of course it's with chris, then they run freely, and maybe even a little too much sometimes), but i was so shocked, irate, upset, so many things at once, that i couldn't help crying. who would do this? who has it in them to knowingly take something that doesn't belong to them? do they have a conscious? feel guilt? steal regularly?

i didn't sleep well that night because all i really wanted to do was cry, knowing that because of a legal battle involving almost a year of unpaid wages, and the attorney fees associated with said battle, it wasn't as simple as just upgrading to a shiny new camera - a side effect of what chris and i like to call "the poor kid syndrome." at first i was so upset about my camera being gone with a mystery thief, but then i started to think about all of the pictures i so desperately want that i'll never see again - pictures of our trip to d.c. for chris's birthday, pictures of my time with carla, pictures of emily's bachelorette party, pictures of jewelry, and videos. all gone.

i tried to make myself feel somewhat better by remembering that this is the camera that has been giving me trouble recently with not powering on, turning off when i'm in the middle of taking pictures, and often times, not focusing. but, whether this was a high dollar fully-functioning camera or a pice of junk, it was mine. MINE. it was the first thing i ever bought myself with my earnings from online sales, and i'm certain the camera thief doesn't understand just how proud i was or just how big my smile was when i went to buy it.

it was an impulse and opportune grab, i'm sure, and while i imagine this thief is not concerned with how they made me feel, they didn't only take from me a camera. they took memories, they took a bit of sentiment, and they took my obviously naive trusting nature in the inner good of people.

i know it may seem overly dramatic for me to be so upset about a 4-year-old point and shoot camera that only worked when it wanted, but i value and appreciate every single thing i own, because i know i earned it myself, and because i grew up knowing that things wouldn't come free.

i hate doing a blog post without a picture, but in this case, i think it's only fitting. i hope you had a great weekend, and i'll try to be in a better, less teary-eyed mood the next time we talk.


  1. i'm so sorry. not in a pitying way, but i just know how horrible and gut-wrenching that feels. you put it perfectly- you miss the pictures and the lost memories more than the physical camera. i hope some camera miracle happens and you find it or it is returned.

  2. Don't apologize for being upset. It's understandable to be upset about something like this. There's still a chance you might find it! I'm so sorry. :(

  3. i don't blame you. i'd be just as upset, girl. so sorry - and i pray that it turns up!

  4. Danielle, I am so sorry that this happened to you! The thing about having something stolen is that it feels like such a violation. Especially something like a camera that has pictures you're going to miss on it. It's not just an object, like a television, it's a part of you and it's so angering and disappointing when someone with no connection to that object feels like they can take it from you. I think it's probably safe to say that your camera will not want to work for this new jerkface owner. And I hope that you find a way to get back to taking awesome pictures sooner rather than later.

    I really feel for you on this one. Jeff's bike was stolen out of our apartment building's bike room last week and it was so infuriating. Even more so because it's the bike that he had a really bad accident on a year or so ago and I felt like it was part of our overcoming the crazy anxiety and stress of that accident. Now it's gone and the person who has it has no idea what it meant to us.

    Ugh. I'm so sorry that your camera was stolen! Crappy or not, it was yours and whoever took it should feel terrible about stealing not just something that belonged to you, but also those irreplaceable pictures. Feel better, friend!

  5. This is horrible.
    What right does anyone have to your property?
    I feel somewhat violent about this.
    Could this have been a mistake?

  6. Oh no! I'm so sorry for the camera :( I don't understand how some people can be like that.. I do hope your camera will be found still, or somehow you could get new one.

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  8. oh no! I'm so so sorry. People think "oh it's just a camera" but it's never just a camera. It's hundreds of pictures that serve as memories. I never understood how people can be so mean as to steal. I'm so sorry :(

  9. I can't believe someone would do that. I understand you being upset. I would be upset too if it happened to me. I will say that it is bad karma for whoever took it. It would be nice if somehow the camera is returned.

  10. Sorry to hear about your camera! That is just wrong I tell ya! No picture it's ok on this post :(

  11. I know how infuriating it is to have someone else help themselves to your personal belongings. Sorry that happened to you :(

  12. this happened to my husband too once and it really was upsetting for him. he had so many great photos and some that took a very long time to create. i'm really sorry about this, danielle. i don't know what possesses some people to do things like this. arghhh! it makes me so mad all over again for anyone i've known who's gotten a camera stolen.

  13. this really stinks Danielle. I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. Having something stolen from you is always a really sucky feeling. Last winter I had a whole duffle bag of vintage stolen from my car, and i felt sick for days. I still think about the clothes that are gone and what the jerks did with them. Hang in there. Hopefully it turns up

  14. danielle! OMG i had no idea that it was someone that you or your cousin knew. I am so sorry! Don't be apologetic! I would have started screaming at everyone at the party to see if someone said ooops I accidently took it. Maybe someone will still come forward and say "i was drunk and thought it was mine"
    Can you ask your cousin to go around and ask questions? Its one thing to have it stolen at a club but...AT A HOUSE! where you think you can TUST!
    I know how you feel! someone ALL of Jacobs music equipment, my clint/appt book, 200 cash, my cool vintage bag, my purse...

  15. This sucks. That person sucks. So sorry about this all, Danielle. :(

  16. I. Am. So. Mad.

    I knew your camera had been stolen. Right, fuckin a holes! But you had ALL of those photos on there?! You bought that as your first purchase with online earnings?! Sentiment!

    People suck. What in the world were they thinking?! Shit balls...I'm mad.

  17. i am so so sorry sweetie. you have ever right to be upset and if i could magically find it for you i would, just to make you feel better. we become so attached to objects because of their sentimental value. don't worry it will show up and it will make your camera even more valuable to you. don't lose hope sweetie!

  18. That sucks so much :-/
    I'd be gutted if that happened to me. More about the loss of the photos than the camera it's self.


  19. That sucks. I'll be sad if I lost my camera and the photos in it too

    Cheer up :-)

  20. in June, some crackhead/meth addict broke my car window and stole my purse. My brand new, underwater camera that I got from Matt for my 21st birthday was in there, and I can't afford to replace it right now either. It sucks, and it's so violating to have your stuff taken from you. Why do people have to be so terrible?

    I hope you cheer up, and get a new camera :) <3

  21. Oh Danielle, I'm so sorry about this. I agree that a person has to be pretty callous to steal something that isn't theirs. Here's hoping it finds its way back to you either in its original form or in the form of a new camera.

  22. *ugh* I won't deny that life and people sometimes shows its ugly side and I know that you must feel all sorts of anger and heartache but for its ugliness there is still beauty even though during times like these it is so very hard to see. I have had this happen to me so so many times and what is worse is that it is a family member (a much older family member who really should know better). We have to be ever so vigilant around her and it is awful having that distrust so I hope with all my heart that it doesn't make you distrust.

    I leave you with this quote:

    "Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do no let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place"

  23. that's horrible. how can people be so awful!?!?! people SUCK! I spilled coffee all over my husbands camera and ruined it last week... sucks. lol

  24. holy crap. i'm so so so sorry, danielle. i haven't been on twitter or fb, so i have no idea what's going on 'till i read this. horrific! being in freelancing the idea of a thievery is more sensitive. i know money earned is the like, but as biased as it sounds i almost feel it's harder money earned. no hourly wages, just handmade goodness. i'm so sorry :((( if you open a kickstarter project, i will happily give what i can. <33


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